Posts Tagged ‘lazy’

Okay, I’m going to come right out and say it. I’m a cyclist. That’s right, I’m a fucking maniac. I did say cyclist and not terrorist, although I believe the difference is only slight. Every day, I jump on my suicide machine and let people who obviously found their driver’s licence in a breakfast cereal box, “share” the road with me.

Let me explain “share”, it’s an interesting concept for your average Melbourne motorist. Picture a normal 3 year old who notices someone handle any one of their million toys.

“Waaaaaaaah… MINE!” *snatch*

Now if you take that 3 year old and fast forward 15+ years, they’re now behind the wheel of that toy… now a two tonne death machine.. only their mental capacity remains the same.

“Waaaaaah… THAT ROAD IS MINE!” *honk* *bash* *bird*

In establishing why cyclists are endangered species, my interviews with motorists have revealed a common theme. “I pay my fucking taxes, therefore this is my road, you shouldn’t be here… fuck you.” (more…)


It’s not often I attack my end of the organisational chain, however we have an employee in my department who is well and truly in crazy town. He believes it is the role of the company to ensure the following:
· He never gets stressed
· His performance is never evaluated
· He can take leave at short notice, for as long as he likes, whenever he likes
· His team is kept over staffed to ensure he is NEVER over worked

Now I know what you’re thinking, this inspiring employee is me. Well, as much as I like to take credit for raging against the machine, in this case it’s not me. While in principal, I do advocate for general shenanigans in the workplace, I feel that corporate quit stayers should only wreak havoc in a covert manner. This is both for self preservation and for the sake of my fake professional exterior.