Posts Tagged ‘emissions’


Okay, I’m going to come right out and say it. I’m a cyclist. That’s right, I’m a fucking maniac. I did say cyclist and not terrorist, although I believe the difference is only slight. Every day, I jump on my suicide machine and let people who obviously found their driver’s licence in a breakfast cereal box, “share” the road with me.

Let me explain “share”, it’s an interesting concept for your average Melbourne motorist. Picture a normal 3 year old who notices someone handle any one of their million toys.

“Waaaaaaaah… MINE!” *snatch*

Now if you take that 3 year old and fast forward 15+ years, they’re now behind the wheel of that toy… now a two tonne death machine.. only their mental capacity remains the same.

“Waaaaaah… THAT ROAD IS MINE!” *honk* *bash* *bird*

In establishing why cyclists are endangered species, my interviews with motorists have revealed a common theme. “I pay my fucking taxes, therefore this is my road, you shouldn’t be here… fuck you.” (more…)