Archive for August, 2016

Apparently there are two kinds of people in the world at the moment. People who like to Poke-a-man and those that want to slap people that like to Poke-a-man. I’m in the latter group.

Having grown up in the era when “the net” was something a family used to fish for dinner, I admit I’m not entirely switched on when it comes to uploading my contact lenses to an eye-Cloud. I really don’t want to know why people put photos on Pee-interest, I like my cookies in hurtful reality and I most certainly have no intention of poking a man.

When a kid explained the new craze to me, I lost that last little bit of hope I had for humanity, then promptly smacked him with my walking stick. His explanation went something like… he collects virtual candy and stardust so he can accumulate poke-a-mans that he can only see when he looks through his phone or when he is high on cocaine. There was no ultimate goal as such, it was just kind of a way of using up free time until he dies or loses his internet connection, which is apparently the same thing.

I can only relate it to my long dead friends who used to collect baseball and football cards. You know the cards, the glossy smiling moustache wearing sexy athletic Joe “Smack-em” Smith, complete with stats including his 546 successful tackles and 35 sexual harassment lawsuits in 1986. Retired in 1987 with a score of 12 STDs and a healthy addiction for strawberry shortcake dolls. (more…)