Archive for September, 2014

We're under attack by Seagulls... bailing out.

We’re under attack by Seagulls… bailing out.

As an Australian tax payer, I have an obligation to whinge about how my tax dollars are spent. So when I heard my government had agreed to spend 12 billion dollars on 58 paper planes called Joint Strike Fighters, I was somewhat aggrieved. I say “paper” because the decision to proceed was made back when the JSF was just a finger painting at a child care centre.

Here’s how the process goes:

U.S. Military Sales Rep: “We’re developing a new military aircraft called the F-35 JSF”
Australian Minister of Defence: “We’ll take 25!” (more…)


A matter of urgency

Posted: September 10, 2014 in Whingevism
Tags: , , ,
The Snail Express

The Snail Express

I received another request from a customer this morning to “please treat this as a matter of urgency.” Checking with the dictionary of Puffetic, I found the expression is defined as “a mistaken claim for expedient service based on one’s false self-belief that they are the most important thing since rat poison was invented.” I subsequently gave the request the priority it deserved and issued it with a one way ticket on the Snail Express.